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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Dec 18, 2023


In this document, I bring together my studies in shamanism, psychology,, religion, prehistory and archeology and process the material through my personal work with grief and ancient healing rituals that use entheogens.

I composed all the music but for a few sound effects and quoutes. I like to think of these pieces as...

Nov 11, 2023

Thank you so much for sharing this journey. I share a primal fear and two dreams in this episode.

I feel like he's playing the guitar sometimes, thru me. Same thing with  training, it's an altered state, a symbolic language of human geometry. Don't give up. 

I share a book that laid on my night stand for 2 months...

Oct 27, 2023

What I would tell my son if he were alive. I imagine a radical art project. I can't seem to talk about the training.

I don't trust the system. How did we get here. 

He's is at the bottom, what can I do?

Did I push you too much?

Pythagoaras was murdered by a mob.

How do I undo me?



Oct 2, 2023

After my son died, I became aware of an inner life that I'd hidden from myself.

At points I was certainly experiencing an altered state, I went in and out for weeks and months of catatonic moments and welcomed them to the waking-reality of my son's overdose death.

I make these episode to reflect the delirium of an inner...

Sep 14, 2023

I'm heading into the serious portion of this semester of a masters program.

Lot's to read and consider. I'm concentrating on Shamanism, from the archeological, material and anthropological perspective for a while and then shifting to more experimental approaches. 

My second focus is on fighting competancy and all that...