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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Sep 25, 2020

My First interview. A deep, startling and honest conversation with my beautiful and wise daughter. 

One of the most terrible moments in my life was having to wake her up and tell her... 

We free-form thru the grief. I ask my most pressing questions.

He laughs in the background.

"It's just an incredible loss" .......

Sep 18, 2020

It's been 3 years tonight, I have been more morose than expected.

I still have trouble accepting what happened, what he did to himself.

Trust and betrayal.

I discuss a blood-contract I had with my son. Broken by his choosing of heroin and death.

This episode features a song he plays and sings, I cannot listen.


Sep 11, 2020

I almost run into my son in another dimension, I feel a white staff in my hands. I am not in control either in life and in my hallucinations.

I recall special moments that might have remained hidden in my mind if not for these sound paintings.

More questions, less answers. 

My beautiful boy and I attend one special...

Sep 4, 2020

Largest Heroin Bust EVER in the US, makes no headlines!! Read the Article from the link above! Outrageous. It made headline in Mexico. Hmm.

This Article with Antonio's name came out days after I made the podcast. A total agent for a Mexican cartel.

The drug...