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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Oct 30, 2020

I vist a doctor

She tells me I'm torturing my son with my anger

I confront my hate of needles

I begin yoga 

I have a profound meeting with my son, or was it?

My father's typing awakes me a week after he dies, I encounter something.

I toy with the idea of forgiveness 

My heart is working too hard

Oct 23, 2020

I revisit my past life as a performing musician and theater artist.

An awakening that happened a Punk Rock show

Control and illusion collide on the carpet of dichotomy 

A deep regret surfaces. Learning and surrender.

Powerful grief of the family ...I forgot to expect the unexpected 

Contrast is the thing he was trying...

Oct 16, 2020

Guilty for my grief, rage and dark fantasies.

The unsafe world full of danger 

I visit my hungry 20s when I stole a piece of cake.

How much of my mind can I give to the Evil.

I shall never know.  

I confuse my son and myself 

I touch on a faint vision of a possible future 

very faint

Oct 9, 2020

In this episode I explore hunting, songwriting, religions, injured animals and the will to live.

I witness perhaps a persons last meal.

Jazz guitar, church bells and a message from a stranger.

I know I'm wrong.

A Daffodil is a trumpet shaped flower. Mountains don't care if you mountain climb. 

Oct 2, 2020

I'm struggling with dark feelings. I try to let him go, to accept my life as it is. 

There is so much less.

Inside outside, I face my mortality under these conditions.

I don't want to waste my own life feeling this bitterness.

not sure yet. It is just me creating this, or is it?

Limited time. I commit myself to at least...