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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Sep 26, 2021

Realizing you were never born.

Twisting and turning.

Suddenly he gave up.

Is everything a game of words?

Grief is religious. I never knew myself.

I face two little coffins...use them.

It's a ghost. Walk on me.


Sep 19, 2021

I was afraid for his life.

A fence made out of iron spears.

He gives me some boxing pointers.

"and then you gotta have that realization, the fights over"

Any addiction is self-imposed slavery.

I hear his laugh, I feel his voice.

A passacaglia underscores my confessions of envy.

I'm forced to awaken to a sharper...

Sep 12, 2021

How may I help you?

Are we responsible for our actions?

How does this work?

I sweet talked (manipulated) my way into many opportunities.

I had a pot farm.

Private school, gigs, college, art making, steady job: It seemed like life was going our way.

pills... remember I'm here to help you.

I'm responsible. what now? I...

Sep 5, 2021

He died 4 years ago tonight.

I recount a sort-of near death experience, with a gun.

I gave his car away, his most adult possession.

Drugs don't kill, people kill.

Addiction turns your brain into a weapon you turn against yourself. 

I was and still am selfish.

What could make this possible?