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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Jan 29, 2021

Shock Advised

Vertigo infuses my Finale.

What have I learned? 

I still Kant forgive.

82K dead this year by self-administered drugs

Treating yourself as means

How will I ever grow from this waste of humanity, from the loss of my son?

There is no answer... yet.

Check for Pulse.

Jan 22, 2021

There was a murder in my family.

Overdose is self murder

Being lazy trivializes life

gods never have to answer for their acts.

Man-eaters, quicksand, a Strip-mall and a child's insightful mind.

There's no super-natural cook.

It's your life


Jan 15, 2021

My son read a lot, Something I was very proud of.

He was a brilliant student, I'm sad his mind died with his body.

In this episode I explore the fallacy of exceptionalism, murder, over-esteeming, and the trivialization of violence.

I contend that murder, for pleasure, profit or lack of self-control is the worst of...

Jan 8, 2021

I used to believe life was worth living.

I visit a primal land and unexpectedly receive glimpses of past lives  as a 10 year old. 

I obsess about a guitar that wasn't for me.

I taught my son to play with his fingers, one of the most profound connections we shared.

I had to choose. I lost my temper, I sat next to him...

Jan 1, 2021

The grief continues. I hate the holiday season. 

I'm grateful to life but that doesn't dampen my rage and disturbed soul.

The fact that he elected to abuse hard death street drugs, haunts me.

I still jump whenever the phone rings.

Total bullshit.