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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Mar 26, 2020

Infinity, what goes around etc...Why can't i just accept my son's self-death and move on? 

I lost my mirror and also many projections.

In this episode I show you an episode of seeing my son as a young boy confront a bully on the playground. Glimpsing his authentic self was jarring and truthful.

I confess to crimes and...


Mar 20, 2020

In this episode I explore the connection between eating, owning your choices, shame and personal responsibility. I use many field recordings from various subway rides in this composition and well as a song where my voice reminds me of my son's voice.

You will also hear my son's voice. It's much too late to be polite as...


Mar 11, 2020

In this episode i explore the excuses drug addicts hide behind as well as revealing some of my own. I excavate the sadness of broken homes, lack of parental responsibility, the sheer stupidity of drug use, gaslighting our kids with our lies and the quicksand of resentment. 

I use compositions from my life that include...


Mar 2, 2020

In this episode I recount a powerful dream that would not leave my mind for days. I didn't bother trying to analyze but rather just let the dream speak to me. I awoke very moved emotionally as if my mind was trying to tell me something very important. 

What I can say is that the fear and loathing I felt along way during...