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My Podcast is only being made because I no longer have a relationship with my son. It takes the place of our conversations and serves as a memorial, to him, to truth and to fighting the scourge of escapism, predation and bullshit in our drug infested culture.

Feb 21, 2020

I did everything I could...and I will not let this destroy me.

I go into the shark-infested water of grief in this episode. I blame myself because there must have been something I didn't do to reach him. 

Why son? Why anybody.


Feb 13, 2020

In this episode I explore my own issues with addiction, self-deception and how it is that some people choose to destroy themselves. I get pretty deep into cigarette addiction, another life-destroying activity.

Much of the music and source material is interwoven with years of memories and struggle. It makes me feel...


Feb 8, 2020

The Dark Chords: In this episode I explore my impressions of my son's last weeks and how he veered into death.

The thoughts flow and connect without my trying to control them so different years and emotions tend to blur.

Allowing myself to flow is the process. I heard those terrible chords and foolishly believed those...


Feb 8, 2020

Hello there, my first composition is an intro to my struggle with my son's death. As well as the larger issue of why and how drugs and escapism is destroying our culture. I'm a guitarist, composer and sound designer so I gravitated to those tools for telling my story.